my partners anger problem

My partner has a bad anger problem,she blows up over the littlest of things(I think),,somethings include road rage,poor service at a rest, or a certain look someone or even me gives her,and it takes a longggggg tine to get over it,,Many times I try to calm her and tell her relax ,its not worth it,,I take it lightly she says and thinks I am thinking she is foolish or crazy and not sticking up for her,,,all that wasting of breath discussing it wears me out and soon I start to get pissed off and then it blows up into something bigger and bigger..she says I don't listen or respect her opinions and so forth,,honestly this wears me out and it does get into a shouting match,,I just want to get up and go and get some air but that makes it worse,,she tells me I am always running,,,no I just want a break,,,There was one time I was threatened that I'd better sit down or I would have been hit with something..I am tired of her anger spells and to be honest I sm beginning to get scared of her and don't want to be close to her or affecionate..this has been a problem ,saying she is lacking intimacy and love and so on,But everything is connected.It has been about 5 yrs or so but the anger has gotten worse, I find myself being more angry than happy when I am with her. I used to be a happy person,She also thinks we don't communicate well..I think I am afraid to say anything because I fear her getting mad. I do love her but find it hard to deal with this situation,,please many advice would be appreciated,,,please,,,,,

Hey girl....i had a really similar situation...my partner use to always yelll and cuss at me when i forget things and would call me stupid and ignorant all the time. She would blow up also at the littliest things and yes it was quite embarrassing. When she had these episodes i would just cower inside myself and become very depressed which was not at all good for me. I became very quiet did not talk and was very silent. Everyone at work knew what was going on because they said i changed i wasnt happy i was so depressed and i didnt smile. But the thing is she was the most unromantic woman i have ever been with....so girl heres what i did ....i left her. When i did i lost the 60 lbs i gained when i ate loads of food cuz i was so depressed....i got my personality back ppl at work say damn what happened u look great ur so happy and leaving her was the best thing for u....so i hate to say baby but u need a change of life ....maybe leaving her isnt what u want. But hon it sounds like shes getting really violent i would be very careful and cautious and really think about what u really need and want to do. Maybe u need to see a therapist or talk to a really good friend...but hon maybe all u need is just to talk to her and tell her how u feel and she needs to do something or u might leave her....if she loves you she will try to change. I hope this helps you. But if i was you....i hate to say it but i would leave her and find my peace of mind that you so desire. ciao.

This is what I would do: DUMP. HER . ASS!!

I also have been through this and it's pretty complicated cos this is her personality, I mean in my case was, my x was very agressive and angry all the time and I just couldn't handle that, she'd never change and after a while she started hitting me cos she couldnt control her anger anymore and she'd blame me for everything so I didn't have an option...but if there's love maybe therapy, I don't know... =/

Anger is as passionate as Love is. Ask any therapist. Anger is an emotion. Now what you have to do is find out the depth of the emotion that causes the anger because it just could be something that would settle in a nice sexual encounter to release the passion of the anger in a place where you both could express yourselves in ways to each other, like tying each other up and kissing each other until you scream; using toys, being assertive; in partnerships, sometimes the other partner is not getting what she wants and she gets angry; if the other partner thinks it's ok and there is a blow up, it could be that the other partner cannot express her desires for whatever reason. I like to experiment when my partner gets angry. I like to come from behind and trigger her senses in a way that catches her off guard, and sometimes we just end up on the floor where we start because it may be that a change of pace to keep up the mood, because the passion is obviously still there, can be deeply interwoven into the skill of transmuting anger with love and finding that getting nasty and thrusting that love around assertively, will work the sweat and anger up to the deliverance of forgiveness and a trek to both of your favorite "fishing" hole so to speak. We all get mixed up sometimes with anger and love. I speak for myself when my needs are not getting met; I get angry. And I want to do something different, not necessarily with anyone else, because she knows me. I like that. But I might want something different and if she's open to that...we have a WOW of a time. And it opens doors for other things when we get like that...because the bottom line is "all womyn are bitches" it's the level we take it with our partners in a deserving way, not in a violent way that can make or break the relationship. We all have bad days and we all take out our frustrations on the ones we love because they are our safe zones not just in friendships but in love relationships. But in the heat of the anger moment, if you turn that around, it's as passionate as the best sex you have ever had with your lover!