Forum : Out of the Closet : Coming out isn't easy, but we're here to welcome you! http://www.shewired.com/forum/ Thanks Dawn, I appreciate the kind words. We have exchanged addresses and the other is on the forgotten list. She also has my phone number and email through work. I havent spoke to her since last night through text. She confuses me but you know I can take what I deserve if it means having just a friendly relationship with her. I was on a mini vacation this weekend, just to sort things out, play some poker and hang with some friends, and of course drink myself a little silly. Ok a lot silly. She texted me Friday night and asked me how everything was, she knows I have anxiety issues so she was checking. She also told me she was ready to come take a shot with me, I mean the girl lives 8 hours away and we both know it couldn't have happened that second but I told her to come down. Do you think maybe shes just saying things like that because thats how we've always spoke to one another or do you think that she in some way wants to be my friend in "real life" as well. Obviously we've never met but I told her maybe after she and I work through our issues we could meet up and see a concert or something. I dont know... arrgghhh (my best Charlie Brown) http://www.shewired.com/forum/messages.cfm?messageid=FF74FE48-19BB-3778-627C268F6B297A45&r=1 2009-11-17T00:05:07-08:00 the worst thing possible... Hello, I agree based on how important your military career is, probably best to hang low and keep your personal choices to yourself. However the most important thing happiness and being true to yourself. On a good note we can hope that some good comes from the Don?t ask Don?t tell bill allowing others in similar situations to finally be able to free about personal choices while in the military. In the end someday you will have to tell your father, no matter what happens you will be at peace and feel better about yourself. So even though I mentioned earlier about not telling him, on the other had maybe it will be the best thing to help you. I would just simply explain to him in private your true feelings. He may hate you at first, but in time he will learn how to accept it. If your family loves you then they will accept your personal choices in life regardless. Anyway I hope this makes sense. Good Luck Dawn http://www.shewired.com/forum/messages.cfm?messageid=FE337C96-19BB-3778-62DF406CEBA958B1&r=2 2009-11-16T18:13:57-08:00 My goodness Hello, Sorry to hear about your situation. I agree with Cass, maybe something good will come out of this in the end. As for figuring out if you are Lesbian or not, it is perfectly okay to be a bit confused. Having an attraction to another girl does not always mean your what you think. The other options include bisexual. If you find yourself likening this girl, then I would not worry about putting any kind of label on yourself. Simply follow your heart, don?t worry about the other stuff. No matter what happens, if your parents love you then they will support what ever you choose in life. As for the old Yahoo profile, I would assume since this was setup for online gamming, maybe you both can exchange real email address in order to get to know each other much better. Then I might suggest closing the old yahoo profile. The reason I say all this is because , close the old account and starting communicating up front through a real email instead of some kind of fake one then you both will feel better about getting to know each other. I also think if you start by getting to now each other as friends, then in time the rest will happen when it feels right. Good luck Dawn http://www.shewired.com/forum/messages.cfm?messageid=FDC6B1D3-19BB-3778-624A93EB16A2A8D2&r=3 2009-11-16T16:15:07-08:00 the worst thing possible... Thanks Cass, I wanna think of it that way too. Things are good between us, we text back and forth and chat on here its just a lot to digest. And 2hotlipz - I did do a bad thing I'm not denying that but before her I really hadn't had feelings for women, not that I acknowledged as anything more than a friendship although now thinking back I think I may be wrong about that. But I never did that with the intentions of hurting her or with any intentions at all for that matter. I never dreamed it would escalate into what it did. Its just a very hard situation to fully explain. I do not see myself as a bad person in general, I'm quite honest and a true friend to all of my buddies. But this was one time I was not myself, I do not know why I chose that path. I regret hurting her with everything I have in me, but I will never regret making her laugh, letting her cry to me when she needed too, telling her how wonderful I think she is, and just being there when she needed me. I believe too that things happen for a reason, I'm not so sure what this reason was but it happened and the lie is over. I should feel like a weight has been lifted but man do I feel heavier than ever. I miss her so much. http://www.shewired.com/forum/messages.cfm?messageid=FADD8C0B-19BB-3778-621EF25FEB5DEB58&r=4 2009-11-16T02:41:13-08:00 the worst thing possible... [i][b]Baby Did A Bad Bad Thing![/b][/i] How sweet falling in love is, even over the internet. I know. I carried on some of the hotest, smokiest chats with my Lady, via long distance. We never wanted to end those chats. 8) They couldn't have been anymore steamy, or seductive. Many times I got so caught up in the moment, I was crazy with desire! I wanted her to come thru the computer, NOW! That very second & take me! Baby, the difference between my chats & yours - To play cards with guys you kept your gender a secret by role playing as a man. That was just for the sake of being taken for a card player. The distance from the male players was a precaution that makes sense. :wink: BUT, Baby Did A Bad Bad Thing! :shock: Your choice to deceive your dream girl produced the outcome you deserve - Zip! Next time, be real. And be careful the internet is full of creeps. :twisted: http://www.shewired.com/forum/messages.cfm?messageid=F5FF3B9A-19BB-3778-621534055C0F61BB&r=5 2009-11-15T03:59:55-08:00 the worst thing possible... Hey Lost-Painter. As crappy as your situation is making you feel... I think something positive can come out of this. I honestly believe that everything happens for a reason but I also believe that it is possible to fall in love with a persons soul... not just their sex. I think it's good that this girl you've fallen for (and likewise for her) is willing to try to work things through with you. I think the important thing to remember is to be honest with her and yourself & keep in mind that your happiness is the most important thing. Good luck. http://www.shewired.com/forum/messages.cfm?messageid=F0C26075-19BB-3778-6242CD4515F6AB28&r=6 2009-11-14T03:35:20-08:00 the worst thing possible... Honestly... this is the worst thing I've ever done in my life period. I made a screen name on yahoo about 8 years ago so I could play pool or cards when I was bored. I said I was male to anyone who asked because the guys on there would harass you rather than play any game. So I ended up meeting a really nice girl and never saying anything about me actually being one myself. We ended up getting really close and I kept this a secret from her for a very very long time, we only spoke over the internet but every single day. She fell in love... I fell just as hard. She now knows everything, I left no stone unturned. She has taken this very well, which completely shocked me. The thing is... I'm in love with this girl, I never gave her the option she just fell in love with a "guy" or so she thought. She isn't gay, we both know that. So we're working things out. I hate myself for breaking her like that but it was a crime of passion. I have never ever done anything like that in my life, I guess I just assumed she wouldn't have anything to do with me if I was a girl. She said thats wrong, that we would have been very close friends. But we're working on that. Which leads me to this... I don't know if I'm a Lesbian. My family would flip but I think they'd handle it. My brother and cousins they're all very open minded, my friends most would be fine. I'm not attracted to any of them so that is a plus. I've never been attracted to anyone as I have her. Now I'm completely lost without her. I guess all this makes me look like a horrible person but I'm really not. I'm in my late 20's, I have a good career, I've never in my life done anything as crazy as that. I'm not the kind. Of course I guess people will come to their own conclusion about that. Its not just "friend lust" or whatever... this girl is someone I could have been with forever. I'm just confused as to who I really am. :( http://www.shewired.com/forum/messages.cfm?messageid=EDD067CC-19BB-3778-6271C98C3EAF1237&r=7 2009-11-13T13:51:48-08:00 the worst thing possible... Hey girl.....I really think that telling ur father would not be such a good idea. It might really hurt your military career...im not saying he would tell anyone but u just never know with what jarheads will do when they are confronted with their own daughter being labeled a lesbian and what he would think or feel if his friends knew or found out about u. As it is right now girl....they are still throwing ppl out of the military for being gay or lesbian ....we still have to be in hiding to serve just be careful babe....Ok? http://www.shewired.com/forum/messages.cfm?messageid=7BA0CE99-19BB-3778-621D524E2D3C802E&r=8 2009-10-22T09:43:06-08:00 My goodness So I'm in need of some advice. I come from a military family, I personally am a member of the Virginia National Guard, I'm a very open individual as is the majority of my family. However my father who is a member of the US Marine Corps is not. He is a homophobe however. My friends are all aware of my sexual orientation and none of them care. My father and a select few of my other relatives are still being left out of the loop. My biggest fear is telling my father, because I've experienced his views on lesbian and the like and I guess I would just like some insight and suggestions on how to tell the man that's told me many times that I would no longer be his daughter. sorry about the ramblings but I had no idea how to word any of this :/ http://www.shewired.com/forum/messages.cfm?messageid=7AE2E998-19BB-3778-627E3F0E312AD0B3&r=9 2009-10-22T06:15:41-08:00 My goodness Hello JustJ, It is nice to hear after 20 years you both are out of the closet. Your old GF sounds like a nice gal. I would say since you still may have feeling for her why not give it a shot. You never know what might happen. I am sure you both would make a lovely couple. Keep us posted on your visit with her in California. Have a nice day Dawn http://www.shewired.com/forum/messages.cfm?messageid=731580C4-19BB-3778-62A4C3687231E15B&r=10 2009-10-20T17:53:59-08:00 Another Chance? I'm going to California soon. While there, I get to see my first serious girlfriend. I broke up with her so I could stay in the closet. She has since forgiven me. Anyways, I have not seen her in 20 years except pictures. She is single,still very attractive and we're both out of the closet. My question to everyone is....What would you do if presented with this type of opportunity? http://www.shewired.com/forum/messages.cfm?messageid=723D3121-19BB-3778-62E3953D6257623B&r=11 2009-10-20T13:57:43-08:00 Another Chance? There are many of us who know the pain you are going through and all that it encompasses. There are many resources and support sites on the web. I have started a blog to document my own journey which began 2 years ago. It is a journey full of ups and downs, joys and sadness. Unfortunately, this is a process that you must go through alone but there are lots of us out there that can support you and help make it feel a lot less lonely and scary. My blog is www.theawakeningofsasha.com. I hope it will offer you some comfort. Sasha. http://www.shewired.com/forum/messages.cfm?messageid=4EADAEF7-19BB-3778-62389BB30845A4B1&r=12 2009-10-13T16:14:15-08:00 confused and alone There are many of us who know the pain you are going through and all that it encompasses. There are many resources and support sites on the web. I have started a blog to document my own journey which began 2 years ago. It is a journey full of ups and downs, joys and sadness. Unfortunately, this is a process that you must go through alone but there are lots of us out there that can support you and help make it feel a lot less lonely and scary. My blog is www.theawakeningofsasha.com. I hope it will offer you some comfort. Sasha. http://www.shewired.com/forum/messages.cfm?messageid=4EADAEF6-19BB-3778-62EC5B406D6282A3&r=13 2009-10-13T16:14:15-08:00 confused and alone I can completely understand why you feel this way. I believe its just a process. The pain, the hurt, the guilt, the confusion. All of it just needs time. Time heals most everything. For right now, I believe focusing on the now is all you can really do. Enjoy the love you've found. And understand you've done nothing wrong. http://www.shewired.com/forum/messages.cfm?messageid=4A025B6A-19BB-3778-62832FECD6E940EA&r=14 2009-08-24T01:25:51-08:00 confused and alone Just relax girl...dont think too much into what is happening..just be cool and enjoy the moment and spend some time with ur girl and i promise everything will work out....ciao. http://www.shewired.com/forum/messages.cfm?messageid=59AC018D-19BB-3778-6078C3FC4AD70116&r=15 2009-07-08T09:22:40-08:00 confused and alone ... http://www.shewired.com/forum/messages.cfm?messageid=CF541098-19BB-3778-604A77CB71C61044&r=16 2009-04-22T19:36:14-08:00 confused and alone Go to her place and just go all the way. Have fun :wink: [url=http://www.shewired.com/Profile.cfm?MemberID=286201]about me[/url] http://www.shewired.com/forum/messages.cfm?messageid=CD9575F8-19BB-3778-6055F9141FEA7910&r=17 2009-04-22T11:28:25-08:00 confused and alone I am a married woman who out of nowhere feel in love with a gay female coworker, who has become my girlfriend and bestfriend in the world,(in secret)from my family however my husband knows and he wanted me to be with them both, however that is not something I am able to do, my husband and I are seperated now and he is so hurt and sad and doesn't understand. I believe she is my soulmate and I love her with all of my heart but I have three kids and my family will never understand, I feel alone and scared and I dont know where to go or what to do. My girlfriend is supportive and wants to be with me forever but I am scared that I may be to messed up for her. I feel like a bad person all the time and long to be happy. http://www.shewired.com/forum/messages.cfm?messageid=CC2760B7-19BB-3778-60EA635BC135DE23&r=18 2009-04-22T04:48:33-08:00 confused and alone I think the best person will be Your friend, who else? You can check what she/he thinks about "IT" if You haven't talk about homosexuality yet. http://www.shewired.com/forum/messages.cfm?messageid=3AC400BD-19BB-3778-60A7157D3C035F80&r=19 2009-03-24T23:15:05-08:00 i need some advice Hello readers, My name is A.J. Walkley and I recently published the novel QUEER GREER. QUEER GREER is a coming of age story about high school junior Greer MacManus. Greer is uprooted from her childhood home in South Carolina when her father is determined to fulfill his strange but pressing dream to become a border-crossing coyote. Her parents take her and her younger sister to Prescott, Arizona to start a new life closer to the border. Greer enters a new school with the hopes of reinventing herself from the wallflower with one friend to speak of in order to become more of a social butterfly. She soon finds herself among the company of athletes, a swimmer herself. While she tries to get comfortable in her clique under the admiring eye of Cameron Keeting, the most attractive jock in school, Greer becomes increasingly interested in someone else. Rebecca Wilder, the beautiful swim team captain and infamous lesbian in town, befriends Greer, taking her under her wing. A love triangle soon overtakes Greer's world, leading to drug experimentation over the course of the year as she comes to grips with her sexuality. Shocked at the reactions of her best friend and boyfriend, and finding herself more alone than ever before, Greer turns to self-mutilation in order to cope when things start to fall apart. Without anyone to turn to, Greer must find an inner strength and the courage to be herself in a society that doesn't always understand. I wrote this story to give a voice to the bisexual teens out there who don't feel like they have any literature that speaks for or to them. As a bisexual myself, I grew up without any books to read that represented my experience, so I decided to write my own. I hope this book can help others questioning their sexuality, letting them know they are not alone. Feel free to get in touch with me with your thoughts and questions by e-mailing me at PeaceWriter313@gmail.com. Happy reading! A.J. http://www.shewired.com/forum/messages.cfm?messageid=24F8033B-19BB-3778-609D6DAF0E28CBAE&r=20 2009-03-20T17:40:14-08:00 Book on Coming Out